48 hours

Could use twice the hours in day/ in 48 hours this will hopefully be over. Need to become sharper, clearer, focused, faster academically. I remember the first half of 1st year when I hated Dundee and my life here, but everything academic was incredibly effortless, fewer hours and better grades. Correlation? The scrutiny of depression seems to breed academic sucess, effeciency and precision.

For this reason, I tried to get back in that place today, all the sad songs, all the sad thoughts, but the feeling was overwhelming, the emotional contrast was too great, so it gave no academic boost, just a need for friends and family! So, intermittent downtime is the only thing that works relatively well and working with coursemates to supervise you. I feel like I'm in Kindergarten, longing for the teenage hell of uncontrollable zit-popping. I hope I don't need to explain that metaphor..

Anyway now I'm back to number-crunching and then later on an all-night essay session at Kirsty's. Had a Kings and Coward's gig today at Drouthy's opening for Our Future Glory (who where releasing their EP). Downtime. Now it's game time.